Still, pivotal though the character is, there’s probably more fruitful places you could’ve gone to before this. Lord of the Rings is fast becoming the new Star Wars – they won’t be happy until every side character and murky period on the timeline has been crowbarred out and used to seed a new potential media empire. The Lord of the Rings: Gollum is a game about Gollum from Lord of the Rings. So I can offer a fully untainted and hyperbole-free review of this extraordinarily shit game. Well, for the record, I finished it without a single crash or game breaking bug. One review said Gollum crashed on them a hundred times. ![]() Have you worked up so much frustration having to plaster on a smile for all the cookie cutter triple-A garbage that when a not quite so big developer without the clout to whip the media into line comes along and has a little stumble while trying to realise their big dream of sitting at the cool kids table, your first instinct is to kick them to death? It’s fun to dogpile, isn’t it, and it’s the only way to get proxy revenge on your school bully who saw your Toy Story underpants and asked you every sodding week ’til the end of term if you’ve gotten a Woody today. ![]() In all seriousness, you people should be ashamed of yourselves. ![]() Four shit apocalypses? Gonna have to dry clean the scythe. And it’s the worst thing ever conceived by the hands of man and will usher in the brown apocalypse that will bury our civilization ‘neath a faecal blizzard. So you’ve probably already heard that a game came out that’s, like, the video game equivalent of the Yersinia Pestis bacterium.
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